Why you should manage your emotions in a heated argument

What does it mean to manage your behavioral and emotional response when you are upset?
And how do these emotional and behavioral responses impact a relationship and your perception about your relationship?

​Managing emotions:

​Feeling angry, upset, tired, frustrated, and annoyed are all normal emotional responses. But as previously mentioned, it is what you do during these moments that determines if you are helping your relationship or not. 

The first step is to be able to identify your triggers.

Ask yourself:

• What is going in your environment when you become angry? What are you thinking about when you become upset?
• What was it that made you upset?
• When you are able to identify what your triggers are, you are much more able to find ways to manage your emotional response.

Here is a brief list of healthy vs. unhealthy emotional responses:

Do some of these responses sound familiar to you? Based on this small list, would you say that you engage in more healthy or unhealthy emotional responses?
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If you find that you engage in more unhealthy responses, do not worry! Lucky for you, you are able to make a choice to change this!​
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​Impact to your relationship:

​So why is your emotional response important for your relationship?

It all comes down to predictability which then leads to a sense of safety.
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Let me paint a picture for you about this to break it down.

If you know that your partner will likely respond in a healthy way when you need to bring up a difficult conversation or when a difference occurs, you will both me more likely to resolve the difference and come to a solution. You will experience a sense that you can trust yourself, your partner, and trust that your relationship will be okay during that disagreement.

On the other hand, you are less likely to open up to your partner or the conversation is less likely to get resolved, if there is a sense that you have no idea how your partner will respond. This can be that if your partner sometimes responds in a healthy way and sometimes responds in an unhealthy way, the next time a difficult conversation comes up, there will be more tension in the interaction. There may even be some doubt and questioning, such as "will this argument lead us to break-up?"

So the reason why managing your emotional responses is important is mainly due to being able to be predictable in your relationship. 

But just like any interaction, it comes down to two people and how each person plays a role in the conversation.

Stay tuned as I will discuss what it means to take a break during an argument!

If you would like to get more information on how to handle your emotions in order to benefit your relationship, reach out to Priscilla to determine if individual and/or couples therapy is right for you! Take advantage of the free 20-minute phone consultation and get ready to make a change in your relationship!

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By: Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT

Priscilla specializes in working with couples on how to connect and communicate, even in the difficult times. Priscilla offers couple therapy sessions two evenings out of the week and online therapy sessions. Check out her newest service, an online relationship class where you can learn the essential relationship skills needed to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. Plus, you can learn these skills on your own time!