Why Consistency Matters in Relationships

When we are consistent, that means that you are dependable and predictable. In relationships, when you are consistent with your behaviors, you evoke a sense of trustworthiness among your friends, family, and partner.

For some people, consistency can come across as maybe being "boring," or even doing the same thing over and over again, but what I want you to focus in on, is how you are consistent with your behaviors of being there for your relationships.

Below are some examples of how you can challenge yourself in being consistent behaviorally, regardless of your relationship status.
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Consistency in Couples

When you are "consistent" with your partner, it allows your partner to feel:

• Relaxed
• Less "on edge" and
• He or she knows that you will be there 

Your partner also knows that he or she can check in with you and feel comfortable enough to do this. Consistency can also come across as being committed to the relationship.

If you have ever dealt with an issue of needing to rebuild trust, consistency will be your friend during this process. Think of when you are trying to maintain a weight goal, if you are consistent with your diet and exercise, you are more likely to maintain the goal you have reached. If you put in a lot of work to reach your weight goal, then revert back to unhealthy habits, you will not be able to maintain your goal. It's the exact same thing but with your relationship. Rebuilding trust takes effort and energy and in order to keep the sense of trust strong and stable, behaviors need to be implemented consistently.
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Consistency in Friendships

Similar to romantic relationships, consistency in friendships also means that your friends know they can depend on you when they may need help or perhaps just need someone to hear them out. Consistency among friends can help with deepening a connection and help with vulnerability. This part is often the difference when thinking of a friendship versus an acquaintance.

Behaviors that you can implement consistently:

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Exclusive for Couples

• Share why you love them.
• Be romantic.
• Flirt with each other.
• Everyday give each other a six second kiss, with no other agenda.

​For all Relationships:

• Asking "how are you doing today?"
• Communicate in a soft tone.
• Engage in deep breathing prior to important conversations.
• Send a text throughout the day to let your partner/friends know that you are thinking of them.

​These are just a few behavior examples that you can begin today! Challenge yourself by being consistent in one of these behaviors. If you have any behaviors you have engaged in consistently, let me know what they are!

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By: Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT

I specialize in working with couples to enhance their intimacy and connection. I offer couples different ways to grow together. I meet with couples virtually for therapy sessions and offer these services to any Texas residents. Online relationship classes are offered to couples who want to learn healthy relationship skills without going through the therapy process. In these various forms, I share how couples can be consistent with healthy relationship skills.