What does it mean to be a healthy individual in a relationship?

Here are a three examples of what it means to be healthy as an individual in a relationship. 

When feeling overwhelmed

​It’s okay to be stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, and tired. Everyone experiences these emotions. When thinking of this as a healthy individual, you can let others around you know what you are experiencing and take action for yourself to change how you are feeling. Find positive and healthy coping skills to de-stress, check out this article for some tips.
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An unhealthy way to do this would be that you take out your frustrations on your partner.
People often do this because we feel safe around our partners but doing this over and over will deplete your relationship satisfaction. Some people use their partners as a punching bag as opposed to a support system. 
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Showing and asking support 

​We all like to be supported. In a relationship, it is best if you can be proactive in showing support to your partner. This builds trust and tells your partner that you are there for them. You can do this by asking “do you need any help with that?” or “I see you are busy, any way I can help you?” This can also be that you ask your partner for help. Most partners are willing to help, but sometimes do not know how.

A negative way of doing this would be to have an expectation that your partner “should just know” how to help you. No one is a mind reader and you cannot get mad at your partner for them not reading your mind or doing what you asked. For instance, if you are upset and you say “go away” or “leave me alone” and your partner follow through with that request, you cannot get upset. 
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Emotional control

​As a healthy individual, you can understand that you have control over your emotional regulation. For some, medication may be needed and engaging in healthy coping skills is helpful; however, it is up to the individual to engage in these helpful actions.

The opposite of this would be that an individual blames their partner for their emotions. For instance stating, “you made me feel this way,” or “you made me do this.” Taking responsibility for your own actions is key!
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Have you noticed that you are likely to be healthy or unhealthy in your relationship? Do you want to learn more about what it means to improve yourself so your relationship can improve? Feel free to schedule your free consultation! 

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By: Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT

Priscilla is a systemic therapist and understands that relationships are a result of interactions and made up of a multitude of factors.  If you are interested in exploring the many factors that play into your relationship, contact Priscilla for your free consultation.